25 to Life

Is it just me or does time actually seem to be flying by faster now than ever before? Maybe I’m just getting old… The other day I realized that I’m almost 25. Like what the fuck, when did that happen? Older people will say, “25’s not old, you got your whole life ahead of you” but they’re wrong because the older you get, the faster time seems to fly by. Before I know it I’ll be 30 and not that there’s anything wrong with being 30, but I’m not even CLOSE to where I had imagined I’d be by the age of 25.

When I was only 21 I distinctly remember looking down on my older sister for being 25 without a job even though she was a recent graduate from University of Toronto. I thought to myself by the time I’m 25 I’m going to have an amazing job I love, my own car and have already put a down payment on a condo. Little did I know that I would end up being almost 25 with a whole lot of potential and nothing to my name except a job serving bottles in a nightclub, trying to find my soul in an entirely artificial city built in the middle of a desert called Dubai.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not trying to put myself down because more than anything this trip has been about gratitude, acceptance and self-love. But really though, where did the last 4 years of my life go? They blurred on by while I was skipping class getting high and I don’t have anything to show for it except student debt, scars, and whole lot of character.

I’m honestly so conflicted because a part of me strongly believes that all the experiences I’ve been through over the last few years have been enriching and mean more to me than material possessions. However, there’s another part of me that can’t help but feel like I’ve sold myself short in the process. I have so sooo much potential it’s a shame to put this type of potential to waste.

I suppose there’s no right or wrong way to live your life and not everyone can have it all figured out by the age of 25, i’m just slightly envious of those who do. I’ve always been about boycotting the system but maybe society knows a little something about following “the plan” to get to a certain level of success and stability by this age. Maybe it’s not all a conspiracy, but then again maybe it is.

It’s both a blessing and a curse to be an outlier in society… I guess with all this freedom comes great instability. I still don’t have the slightest idea of what I’m going to do with my life even at the age of 25 and although sometimes I get anxiety and have restless nights because of it, I usually always find the most inspiration in the darkest of nights.

More than anything I want to prove to the world that you don’t need a degree to be successful. I've always wanted to start my own business; i just never knew what type of business to start... I have made lists upon lists of business ideas as well as things i plan to accomplish this summer and in this lifetime. Both the best and the most nerve-wrecking part about it all is that my options are virtually endless!

I feel like i have an entrepreneurial spirit and have already learnt the most important things university can teach in the 3 years I was there. At this point a degree would be nothing more than a piece of paper to me and honestly, fuck credentialistm. On the other hand, wouldn’t it make sense to complete my degree even if it takes me another 2 years so at least i'd have something to show for all the money spent on tuition? Or is it better to spend these next 2 years getting real-life entrepreneurial experience instead of further post-poning what i'm actually meant to do? I feel like i've been asking myself the same questions again and again for years now.

I suppose i’m on the fence about a lot of things in life and have some really important decisions I need to make. I understand my time here on earth is limited but i'm not exactly in a hurry to conform, consume, obey... I've learnt to love and embrace the fact that my definition of normal will always be different from the status quo. I really don't know what i'll be doing in four months when I turn 25 but whatever it is, i'll be sure to celebrate.

“And when you want something,

all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”

– The alchemist

I'm glad i was able to end this on a positive note. Once again, thank you for taking the time to read what's going on in my indecisive mind. As always, any and all advice is appreciated from your end.